Michael

Its been a long time since I have blogged and probably no one even reads it and thats ok. I just feel the urge to write about Michael and maybe this will be the best place for me to put my words down.

Michael,
I miss you so much. I never once ever thought that I would have to feel the pain of losing one of my brothers, Mom and Dad yes, but not you or Matt. This last year has been the longest yet the shortest year of my life. Halloween is here and I think about you every day, this is your favorite time of year. There are still so many times I think I cant wait to tell Michael this or show Michael that and then it hits me your not here. I know that I can still talk to you but somehow its not just the same. In my mind I keep going over and over that morning when you left us. You looked so peaceful and even seemed to me that you had a grin on your face. Oh how I miss that grin. I keep remembering how it felt calling 911 knowing that it was too late but still praying and hoping that I wasnt too late. The phone call to Mom and Dad, and then the one to Matt. I never ever want to make a call like that again. The long ride over to tell Brooklyn and the image of her sobbing keeps playing over and over in my mind. Our family is so lost without you. Its so hard because we were like the 3 muskateers where one was the other two werent far behind. Matt and I need you so much to add to the laughter which there really isnt very much of these days. Brooklyn is growing up and needs her daddy so much right now its not fair that you had to leave us so soon. We all go through the daily motions of our life but thats all it is. I worry about Mom, she misses you so much and I cant do anything to make it all better for her. Robert, Bronson, Carter and Shayla miss their Uncle Michael so much. I love you Michael and I am so glad that is the last thing I said to you! Keep watching over us and especially Brooklyn.

Love you!

Growing Up

I knew it was going to happen one of these days but in my fairytale world my boys never grew up and they never ever left home. Robert is dead set on making the move and making it long before Im ready for him to make it. I know that he is almost 20 but serioulsy doesnt he want to live home where he gets his laundry done, food bought and all the love that only a mama can give. I only hope and pray that I have done a good enough job that he will hate living away from home and come back :)

Summer Time

Well can you believe it I'm blogging before 6 months. Just wanted to post some pics of some of the fun we have been having this summer. Bronson has been playing baseball for PG city and after a slow start because of all the rain we are now at the end of the season. Its sad only watching 1 of my boys play it just means they are getting older and will soon learn to fly on their own and leave the nest. :( Also we all got together at Mom and Dads to have our annual 4Th of July BBQ and firework show which once again the rain ended that before we were ready for it, and last but definitely not least my good friend Natalie had a pool put in her backyard last year and this last Saturday is the first time I have gotten in. I went with my sister-in-law Jeni, and Brooklyn, Shayla, and Carter and we had a blast I am already planning my next swim visit. Thanks Natalie, Love you! So get ready for an over load of pictures and Hope you are all having a Happy Summer!

FATHERS DAY-TRIBUTE TO MY DADDY!

It seems like I always blog on Mothers day but never on Fathers day, so I decided that it was time to change that. I just want to give you a little background on my DAD. I personally think he is the best dad a girl could have. My mom was married and had me before she met my dad. Oddly enough her first husbands name is Fackrell and then she met my dad who is also a Fackrell, and no they are not brothers but cousins. From what I know their great great great( not sure how many greats) grandpas are brothers. But what make my dad so special is he adopted me and made me his own, and not once in all these years has he ever made me feel any different. He's my daddy always has been and always will be. He is the one who has worked so hard to take care of me and my mom and brothers. I love my dad and yes he may be difficult sometimes to get along with but I haven't always made it easy either and yes he can be on ornery old fart sometime but when you need him my daddy is right there for me my boys or any one else in my family. I just want to tell him how very much I love him and how much I appreciate all he does for me and my kids, couldn't have gotten to where we are without help from both parents. I love you dad and Happy Fathers Day!

Christmas

I just wanted to take a minute and update since my last post was such a downer. I know that I put that I hate Christmas, not the meaning but the feeling that I get this time of the year, and I know that I am not the only single parent and its hard all year long but it always seems that especially this time of the year is hard at least for me, and this year has been no exception. I had surgery on Dec 15Th finals the following week and Christmas on top of it all. I don't even know what I want to say on here other than I am so grateful for my family, friends and secret Santa's that have. I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas, I know that because of the love and kindness that others have shown to us we will. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

BAH HUMBUG

I guess its time to blog again! I don't know why I cant seem to get into it maybe its because I think I have a very boring life, but according to my co-worker David, I should write a book just based on the stories I tell him about my family he is convinced I would have a best seller. Anyhow right now I cant even think of any funny stories to tell. I have been sorta down and kinda depressed for the last little while and things in my life keep happening to make me down and depressed. First off I am not at all excited about the holiday season. In fact I hate this time of the year. I love the meaning of Christmas but all the other stuff I hate. It doesn't help when it seems like everything at once keeps happening. Thanksgiving morning my washer broke (my brother Michael fixed it for me) My Uncle Dennis passed away Thanksgiving night and no one can fix that one. It was a shock and he will be greatly missed by all. When I was little he used to scare me but the older I got the more I learned it was Aunt Carol I should be afraid of. My boys loved Uncle Dennis too, I guess Bronson couldn't say his name so he would call him Uncle Beevis. His viewing was on my birthday which was alright, it was just the fact that I am another year older that was depressing. And now to put the cherry on the top my car broke down its going to take who knows how much to fix it. So Merry Christmas to me that will be my family's Christmas thank goodness my boys are old enough to understand. Well sorry to be such a downer on my post but ya know sometimes ya just gotta let it all out. I do sincerely hope anyone who reads this will indeed have a Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday Season!

Mothers Day

I just got back from picking out a Mothers day card, yes I am right there at the last minute along with all the men, any how I really need to start getting a jump on these holidays. I seem to have a problem when I'm reading the cards.....I start to cry not just tear up a little bit but actual tears are rolling down my cheeks, its really embarrassing to be standing there in the card section crying, but what can I say I'm an emotional sensitive person. I just wanted to take this time to thank my mom for being my mom, Don't know how I would make it with out her. She is my best friend, I call her morning and night and not just once, just ask my dad how many times I call her :). I wont post a picture of her because I want to remain the favorite child, but my mom and me have been through alot together it was just me and her for 6 years and she sacrificed alot for me and I know she still does, not just for me but for all her kids. Any how Mom if you read this just know how much I do love you and appreciate all you do! Your the bestest Mom ever.